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Jeff Stendec.

Jeff is responsible for this website. Not legally, really, if you are someone who is responsible for applying the law. He runs two other websites that are mechanical: Cardhouse and Phoneswarm. He enjoys cookies shaped like animals.

Akita! { Akita! }
All <x> all the time
And I hayulped!
And they can’t fly EITHERRRR!!!
And we’ll paint the mother pink.
Anyone? Anyone?
Anything in this general area right in here ...
Are you naked? Do you have a drum?
At home. At work. In your car.
At the strip mall of death { again }
Audio Wars
Badger badger badger badger ...
Because art is dead.
Belushi Stance
Big beautiful women.
Bing! Bong! Hey, you missed one! Bing!
Bored now.
Botulism. Rat feces. Cockroaches.
Bueller? Bueller?
Build a super system that will turn friends green with envy.
But four years ago, it wasn’t so easy.
But wait, there’s more! { Now how much would you pay? }
But you wouldn’t WANT to!
Buy negative land.
Bye bye, Adam! Bye bye, Eve!
Clear ... Amoco® clear.
Crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women.
Darn! That’s the end.
Defenestration/Skull Explosion
Definite Article Problems
Difference macro
Disclaimer Burst
Disconnect his buzzer!
Dive, Tony, dive! Swim, Tony, swim!
Do what now?
Don’t take the cork off the fork.
Don’t you go changing.
Don’t you wanna go home?
Double down.
Duuude, club!
Dyna Pink – I love you!
Eat all the food you want ... and never gain an ounce.
Eat, Santa, eat!
Eatin’, greetin’, and fuelin’ around!
ELIZA Concept.
Everybody ready? Let’s go!
Everyone dies.
Everything is going to be all right, everything is going to be okay.
Fandango? Hobo camp?
Finger Waggle
First I sand the wood until it is smooth. Then I oil the wood until it is soft.
Football, you bet!
Fwigtened/birstday cake
Garbage Truck Of <x> Concept
Get it
Have that removed.
Hello ... I’m Rags ... woof, woof.
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Here you go, lions!
He’s the guy behind the guy behind the guy.
Hey captain, you forgot something.
Hey good looking, we’ll be back to pick you up later!
Hey little guy ...
Hey man, I get the dog.
Hey you clowns! Get down from there! { circus music }
{ Hot Fudge, right on! } Comin’ at ya { now }!
Hurray, I’m for the other team.
I can’t do that ... yet.
I cut the deck, and they’re ALL aces!
I don’t like greens.
I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything, as a career ... I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed or ... buy anything sold or processed or... process anything sold ... bought ... or processed ... or repair anything sold, bought or ... processed, you know, as a career ... I don’t want to do that.
I got a rock.
I knew this <x> idea was going to suck.
I like these.
I may be wrong {Alex}, correct me if I am, and (pause) <x>
I need a space ...
I see a dragon, and a squirrel.
I used to be an <x>. Now, I’m a computer programmer!
If Tonga wins, you win!
If you had a car you could come to Colorado and pick me up.
I’ll remove his <x> for <n> dollars!
I’m developing muscles on my heart. I’m a horse trainer.
I’m going for the grape juice.
I’m gonna win that truck.
I’m not an <x>, but I play one on TV.
I’m so insane I’m sane!
I’m sorry!
In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife.
In the movie Awakenings, the hospital was located in the Bronx.
Insert two dimes or one dime and two nickels or four nickels or one dime and ten pennies or one nickel and fifteen pennies or two nickels and ten pennies or three nickels and five pennies or twenty pennies. Hmm.
Is it Zamfir, master of the pan flute?
It was sunny.
It’s a breaded chicken ... with tomato and lettuce ... served on a kaiser roll.
It’s good, uhhhh feeling.
Jess ... JESS ...
Just don’t touch my eyes!
Just how you like it!
Just lie back down on the couch now, Ms. <x>.
Let me crazy.
Looks like we got { us | ourselves } a convoy.
Love! The language of love!
Lower the sheepskins ... there will be dancing.
Lucky! Lucky! Lucky!
Matches ... candles ...
Mix Fear
More <x>? Uh-huh! More <y>? Uh-huh, uh-huh!
Mother father Chinese dentist.
My pants are tight.
New Oldsmobiles are in early this year.
No more callers! No more callers! We have a winner!
Now let’s try it ... without the dress.
{ Ohhh } My liver!
Okay everybody, let’s make a train! A semi sl dk fj ...
On spec.
On the next California Gold.
Our little baby’s all grows up!
People get irritable!
{ P-E-T-R-O-L. } Gosh, that’s a funny way to spell water.
¡Qué malo! Once again I must sugar my own churro.
Quack, quack, quack.
Quit talkin’ and start chalkin’!
Repeating Last Word Word Word
Rip and tear { , Bruno }! Rip and tear!
Sabatini will attempt to murder you.
Sarrrrrrrs, matey.
Shit, I’ve known that for ten years.
Show me a good race!
So that’s how it is in their family ...
Soooo good!
{ Sorry ... } Sharers will be charged full price.
Spacemate Concept.
Stop bringing me over.
Strong hold, behold!
Sure could use a donut.
Sure doo!
Tapping teeth.
Thank you, Vidal.
That’s a big <x>.
{ The black widow ... } First she mates ... then she kills.
The <x> lives inside the <y>.
Thinking about string
This place has got everything.
To ensure maximum spew.
Top shelf.
Turning over table.
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
Vaughn is not a robot!
<verb> it <preposition> and <verb> it <preposition>!
Walt Disney Pictures presents: Blank Check.
Watch what you heat!
We spent three days in the desert.
Well, I bin zuppPPP!
We’re the liquor store men!
What concerns me is the rubbing and the temperature change
What does suck mean?
What is it, boy? <x>?
What kind of charade ends with someone turning up dead?
Which one of you <x>s is my <y>.
Who better to arm you for the future battle than <x>.
Who will get a kiss from me today?
Whoaaaaa! Where’s the fire?
Who’s that eating that nasty food? Nasty boys!
Why don’t we all <x>.
Why don’t you disconnect your own buzzer!
Would you like an <x> on that <y>?
Wrong glass, sir.
<x> ... also: <x>.
<x> ... MURDER.
<x> burner cover caddy organizer curtain splatter screen partition winch lifter
<x>, I think I love you!
<x> is so <year>.
<xn> formerly <x1 ... n-1>
Yee-haw, Bo Duke!
Yo, Ding Dong, man, Ding Dong!
You dirty screws!
You don’t know, you don’t know ...
You have to PUT IN to GET BACK.
You know, friennnnnd ... friennnnnnd ...
You <x>. I <x>. We <x>. Maybe we could get together and kind of be a <x>ing team. / You’re a jerk.
You <x> on your own time!