Macros2000: The Magazine.
KEEP IN TOUCH WITH AMERICA! WITH MACROS!
2003jan01. All issues are sold out.
If you enjoy low-key humorous publications, you may enjoy Macros.
Macros2000 #9 is far enough away that I am not accepting monies at this time. But you can look at the fun-e submission form below. Ha. Ha ha.
To: Macros2000 Non-Emergency Response Service c/o Cardhouse USA Name ____________________________________________ Address ____________________________________________ Etc ____________________________________________ _____ My email address is ___________________________ because I know you like to let people know what's "going on" with their order and/or it allows you to double-check the address, especially in case of returns, etc. I know you don't sell email addresses nor send spam, because you hate that so much that you rotate your own email address seemingly every other month and your friends hate you for it but then they also whine about spammers so you know, they can't have it both ways. _____ #9 (the future one) _____ I didn't enclose any IRCs because I know you hate them. _____ I totally promise to let you know when I've received my copy/copies. I understand you have a love/hate relationship with the Post Office and like to gauge their dependability whenever possible. _____ I am from Canada so I have included either one US dollar or $2 CDN for one issue. I have also included some strange advertisements or interesting bits of papery design. I may have included some natural non-chemical licorice which could be Panda brand but is more likely made in a local confectionery shoppe. It is most likely not a "pipe" because Hershey is selling licorice pipes in Canada and that type of licorice would probably be pumped up with hydrogenated soybean oil, which, on the surface, certainly sounds organic but I was not fooled. Although it could be a non-Hershey pipe but how could one tell, if they were just sitting out in an unmarked box in the candy shoppe? I could not. _____ I am from the UK so I have included $2 US or one pound plus some good soft natural non-chemical licorice for one issue, licorice that follows the same essential guidelines as the Canadian-proffered licorice mentioned above. I may have included interesting bits of papery design. _____ I am from Australia and the only way I can pay for anything is by sending a packet of Traditional Black Rabbit Licorice, which is available at Woolworths or Franklins. One packet will get you two issues (the current one + the next one), quite a bargain, unless it's not. I'm almost sure it is. I will send more if it is not. I need to do the math. _____ I am not from the Canada/UK/Australia, so I am getting the sweetest deal of them all for one issue. I figured out how much $1 US is worth in my local currency and then I broke it down so I could send you the maximum number of bills that tally up to $1 US or just a little bit over. I understand that you are also accepting discontinued pre-EU currencies at par. I most likely have included interesting bits of papery design. _____ I am not from the US but I was wondering if you park smaller cars inside your SUVs? _____ You'd think that, but no. SUVs are our mobile apartments. They can hook up to railroad tracks so you can put it on "auto-pilot" and get some shut-eye. _____ What about the Mini and the Biggest Pig Navigator? I mean, the Mini should be able to fit in that beast, no? Or the Ford Expedition, whichever the's bloatiest, and can we all imagine the number of Americans doing comparison shopping based on exactly that metric? Because I know I can. _____ No. It's close, though. _____ I have included some "Wilkinson" brand candy cigarettes so I get the current issue and the next issue in trade. _____ I have included some "Manhattan" brand chocolate cigarettes so I get the current issue in trade. _____ I have drawn funny things but only on the paper inside the envelope because I understand that the USPS has probably established a new hair-trigger response to postal creativity. _____ Is this the 1950s again? _____ I like go-c/karts and/or go-c/karting. _____ Once when I was go-c/karting I spun around a curve and the back wheels weren't biting and I was heading directly toward a light pole and then at the last second the wheels bit and I squealed the hell out of there and I did not die. _____ What about a Mini and a Hummer? _____ Jesus Christ, shut UP about this.
Please print this out and check everything that
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